Update, Schmupdate

Hey, all. It's been an interesting and busy week.

First of all, my husband just got re-hired to his old job yesterday. Not the one that just let him go, but the one where he worked right before that. The funny thing is, it's another P&G contractor, so it's basically the third time in a row that he'll be working in the same place... in some cases perhaps right alongside the same people that he just got terminated from working with. Not that he cares about that, really... but I can't help but think that it will be a good chance for him to show them that he didn't need them, after all. It just burns me up to think of how they let him go for no damn good reason... they threw him out like garbage with the most pathetic justification I've ever heard of just so they wouldn't have to pay out unemployment benefits. Well, they will pay them if it kills me. I know that it only amounts to about two weeks of pay, but I'll be damned if I let them get off scot-free. We're not the type to go down without a fight... especially yours truly. ;)

So that's some good news. In other news, my father is in town to visit with me this week. In short...

PROS:

- Time to catch up with a father I never got to know very well.
- Getting to learn more about my early childhood from another perspective.
- He's bonding more with my son, which is great.

CONS:

- He's a fundamentalist religious nut who cries for my eternal soul and warns that I'll burn in hell for all time unless I renounce Buddhism and accept Jesus Christ as my lord and savior, blah, blah, blah, please stop crying Dad, holy crap this can not be healthy. (No offense to all of you tolerant Christians out there. Please understand the distinction... I respect others' choice of faith and only ask that they do the same for me.)
- Regardless of the subject, he makes the term "motormouth" seem like an understatement. Even at the height of my morning Dexedrine buzz (ADD meds that are basically speed), I can't hope to compete with him. Please take a breath and let someone else express a thought, please.
- I just found out that he's... well... legally... hmmm... well, I think "mentally disabled" was how his old shrink put it. He actually showed me the paper that says so in his own doctor's handwriting... apparently he carries it with him in his wallet. It entitles him to free $$ from the guv-ment every month. Lovely. And I thought he qualified for Social Security income because of his physical health problems.

This leaves me with the unwelcome revelation that literally both of my parents are medically delusional. Nice. My mother refuses help because she's so far gone she can't see that she needs it and my father thinks that God magically cured him of his mental defects so he doesn't need to see the doctor or take medicine anymore. I would love to believe that my dad is right, but... well... let's just say that there are times when it's clear that the elevator doesn't quite reach the top floor. He has paranoid delusions about modern science and believes that "the Devil" is literally trying to thwart him. On the other hand, Mom once claimed to be an angel sent from God... again, literally. My grandfather on my mother's side died three years ago yesterday in the Dementia ward of a hospital due to injuries suffered from an alzheimer's-induced accident and my grandmother, also on my mother's side, practices denial and invalidation of facts and feelings to the point of being at least neurotic. As for my father's parents, one was an abusive drunk who later died after years of suffering from alzheimer's-related dementia while the other has been described by him as emotionally distant, if perhaps for reasons beyond her control.

This is the stock that I have been bred from. It feels like a nearly hopeless situation. I take great comfort in the fact that despite years of psychological abuse, neglect, and incidents of molestation and rape, I have survived with nothing more serious than depression and ADD, both of which are being treated successfully with medication and therapy. I'd be lying if I said that all of this didn't shake me to my core, though. It's horrifying to find that mental illness is so prevalent in my forebears. In essence, "what a pisser" is my phrase du jour lately.

Don't worry, I'll be fine. I just need to assimilate all of this crap so that I can deal with it properly and get over it. In a few days, I'm sure that I'll be back to my usual chipper self and no doubt stronger for the experience. Right now, though... ankle deep in a big ol' pile of emotional waste, forced to breathe it in deeply... well, let's just say that I'm glad I have my psychological boots on, so to speak.

More later. I'm think I'm going to ease the tension by putting a few more bullets into some faces a la Resident Evil.